Grass Page 9

  ‘No!’ I snapped the word out. I was sorry now I’d even mentioned her name.

  What had I done?

  ‘I just wanted to make sure you were all right.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said.

  ‘Bet you can handle yourself anyway. Don’t ever have to worry about you in a fight.’

  ‘I was fighting with my best mate.’ That was what hurt more than anything – I had been fighting with Sean.

  ‘In my business you can’t have mates, Leo. You have to keep your friends at arm’s length.’ He said it as if it was as important to me as it was to him.

  I closed the phone just as my mum opened the bedroom door. She glanced at the phone. ‘Was that Sean?’

  I shook my head. ‘No. I was just checking in case he’d texted me.’

  ‘C.S.I.’s almost finished. So time to put your light out,’ she said.

  I lay awake for ages, thinking. I’d had a fight with my best mate for nothing. It could have been a wonderful party. I could be lying here looking forward to tomorrow. To being with Sean, maybe being with Veronika. And I’d blown it. All for nothing.

  And I couldn’t even explain to them why I’d done it. No apology to Sean or Veronika would be enough without that explanation.

  And then just as I was drifting off into an uneasy sleep, another alarming thought came to me.

  How did Armour get my mobile number?

  g

  28

  Next day only made things worse. I had planned to apologise. To give it a try, even if it meant telling a lie. First thing I had to do was apologise to Veronika. I went over and over it in my mind, finding exactly the right words. And in my imaginary conversation she kept asking why, and I didn’t have the answer. And I couldn’t think up a good enough lie.

  And what would I say to Sean? What could I say to him? It had been a mistake. Veronika’s dad wasn’t being blackmailed by Armour. I’d been wrong.

  So, in the end, I decided I would say nothing. Just maybe, day by day, try to make things better.

  I knew as soon as I walked through the school gates even that wouldn’t happen.

  Sean stood at the big entrance door with Aidan by his side. Veronika was there too. Flanked by them both. Under protection. That’s what it looked like. As if they thought I would run at her. Bring her down in a commando-style attack.

  She kept her eyes down, staring at the ground. But she knew I was there. They all knew I was there. Sean stared at me boldly. His eyes didn’t leave me as I walked closer. I glanced round the playground and they were all watching me. As if they knew something I didn’t. When I looked at them they would all look away quickly, as if they didn’t want me to see them watching me.

  Only Sean’s eyes never left me.

  Then Sean broke away from Aidan and Veronika and strode towards me. Now was my chance to say something, to apologise for a moment of madness. He was my mate. Had been my mate since Primary 1. Surely he would understand?

  He was feet from me and he shouted out his words. ‘Think you’re a big man now, eh? Think we’re gonnae be scared of you!’

  What was he talking about?

  He made a rush at me, grabbed my shirt, yanked me towards him. ‘Well, I’m not scared of you. I just can’t understand you. Can’t believe you would have anything to do with Armour.’

  I plucked his hands from me. Things were beginning to fall into place. His nosy cousin again. He must have seen me going into Armour’s house.

  ‘None of your business if I go and see Armour.’

  I knew as soon as the words were out of my mouth that I had got it wrong.

  ‘You went to Armour’s house? Are you mad?’ He was shocked, astonished. ‘You actually went up to Armour’s house?’

  I looked around them all, still watching me. But what did they know?

  Sean gave me the answer. ‘Seems the Bissett Boys spread the word. You’re Armour’s boy. I didn’t believe it. I told everybody that was crazy talk. But . . . it’s true, isn’t it?’

  I was trying desperately to think of a way to explain it all.

  ‘Was that what made you bold enough to throw cola all over Veronika? Big man,’ he sneered. ‘I thought you would tell me it wasn’t true. The Bissett Boys were lying. And you tell me you go to Armour’s house? That’s what you were doing up the Drummie, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Maybe Armour’s not so bad.’

  Sean stepped back from me as if I had hit him with a brick. ‘Armour’s not so bad? Are you listening to yourself. It’s all true, isn’t it? You are Armour’s boy. That’s what the Bissett Boys called you.’ He spat on the ground as if I disgusted him.

  I wanted to tell him. Armour wanted peace. I was helping him. Armour wasn’t as bad as everybody made out.

  ‘He’s evil. You know that. He’s got a hand in everything that’s bad in this town.’

  ‘You’re just repeating what your dad says.’

  ‘Your dad says it too.’

  I swallowed. ‘Maybe my dad’s wrong.’

  ‘And Armour’s right? I can’t believe you just said that.’

  Why couldn’t he trust me? I wanted to explain, but there was nothing I could say. And anyway, Sean didn’t want an answer. Didn’t need one. He took another step away from me.

  ‘You keep back from me from now on, Leo. You’re no mate of mine. You’ll never be my mate again.’

  You’ll never be my mate again. The words whispered themselves in my head all day.

  I stood alone in the yard at break time. Sat alone in the canteen during lunch. The only one who looked at me was Shannon and that was only to sneer. I’d never felt so lonely in my life.

  I walked home from school that day, alone. And when my mobile rang I felt it was the first time someone had wanted to talk to me all day.

  ‘Hello, Leo.’ The now familiar voice. Armour. ‘You said I could rely on you. Is that still the case?’ As if I could refuse. ‘It’s to do with Nelis. You’re the only one he’ll talk to.’

  At least someone trusted me. Knew I was trying to do the right thing.

  And why shouldn’t I do it?

  I had no one else now.

  I was Armour’s boy.

  g

  29

  My dad was on a crusade. Having a job gave him back the confidence he’d lost.

  The confidence to take charge, to get things done.

  He was going to do something to clean up this town, he said.

  A few nights later when he picked me up from football practice he told me he’d been to the police station. Talking over what could be done.

  This was a football practice I hadn’t actually attended. Mum had dropped me off and I had hoofed it to the place I had arranged to meet Armour. He wanted me to meet up with Nelis again. Armour was trying to work out a diplomatic solution, he told me, the way you do with terrorists or hostage takers. He wanted to come to some kind of a deal with Nelis. He wanted the trouble in the town to stop.

  Same as my dad.

  So what was I doing wrong in helping him?

  He had me back at the school grounds well before my dad came to pick me up.

  ‘Sean not there tonight?’ Dad asked as soon as I got in the car. He asked me the same thing every day. Had I spoken to Sean? Had Sean spoken to me? Hoping that the rift was healed. That Sean and I had talked, had made up. Then he’d shake his head and say, ‘You’ll be friends again before long.’

  He’d even been on the phone to Sean’s dad – and that night I had held my breath waiting for him to burst back into the room demanding to know why I was seeing Armour.

  But he didn’t. Sean hadn’t told his dad.

  Sean was no grass.

  ‘I’ve been at that police station since I finished work,�
�� Dad told me.

  ‘They’ve found you out at last then? You’re the serial killer the whole country’s been looking for.’

  He grinned. ‘We talked about having a gun amnesty. So anyone who owns a gun can hand it in, no charges, no questions asked. It’s a first step. It’s a beginning.’

  I thought again of Nelis’s horde of lethal weapons. ‘But do you really think that –’ I almost said his name – Nelis. Stopped myself in the nick of time. ‘– any of these gang leaders would just come forward with their guns because there’s a gun amnesty?’

  ‘No. it’ll take more than a gun amnesty to get the big boys. But it’s a beginning.’

  I could have told my dad then where Nelis’s guns were hidden. Why didn’t I? Because it would raise too many questions, like how did I know? Like why hadn’t I told him before?

  He nudged me. ‘You went into one of your wee dreams there. What are you thinking about?’ He wanted to talk. I could see that. I think he felt he was doing something at last, instead of just complaining about it. I watched him as he talked on and his voice seemed to fade into the distance. I was hardly listening. All I was thinking was that he was a lot like Armour, my dad. In different ways they were trying to make the town a better place.

  ‘Everybody’s got to do their bit,’ he was saying. ‘“Be the change you want to see in the world.” A wise man once said that.’ He smiled at me. ‘Do you know who that wise man was?’

  ‘My granddad,’ I said, grinning back at him. ‘He’s the one who usually said the wise things according to you.’

  ‘Not this time. This was Gandhi.’

  I hadn’t a clue who Gandhi was. And it didn’t matter. Because what my dad had said only made me feel better about helping Armour. I was doing my bit too. I was trying to be the change I wanted to see in the world – well in the town anyway. And maybe one day Sean – everybody – would understand.

  So I met up with Nelis next day at the pool hall. I think that was his headquarters. And I thought then that Armour had nothing to be afraid of from this creep. Nelis had no presence. No real personality. Not like Armour, who seemed to fill the room with his. Nor did he have any ambition. Not like Armour with his lovely home, his dream of being a legitimate businessman, working to make life better for his family. Armour could have got rid of Nelis with a flick of his finger, like a fly from his hand. I admired the fact he was trying to negotiate a peaceful settlement. It had worked in Ireland after all the fighting, Armour had told me. He wanted to make it work here.

  ‘Tell Armour we have a deal. But on my terms,’ Nelis told me. ‘And my terms are pretty steep.’

  I didn’t understand what he meant but Armour did. He picked me up after the meeting and he was stony-faced when I told him.

  ‘He wants money, Leo. Do you realise that? That creep wants money to move out of town.’

  ‘And are you going to give him money?’

  He looked at me for an age. ‘If that’s what it takes,’ he said.

  g

  30

  Mr Sheridan was all over the front pages of the local paper the next day.

  FRAMED?

  That was the headline.

  He had no alibi for the night of the murder. He’d been heard threatening McCrae. ‘I’m gonnae kill you!’ He’d said it time and time again. And now, someone had come forward to say they had seen him hanging around McCrae’s house that night. Looking suspicious, looking angry.

  ‘Another nail in his coffin,’ my dad said as he read the paper. We were sitting at the table having our tea.

  ‘Put that down and eat,’ my mum told him. ‘You’re a bad influence on the boys.’ But as soon as he had she added, ‘You don’t really think it was him, do you?’

  My dad started eating his chicken. I held my breath. Stared at him, waiting for his answer. ‘Well, he had a perfect motive. Who could blame him?’

  ‘His girl’s death tore him apart,’ Mum agreed. ‘I feel that sorry for him.’

  I looked at Mum.

  ‘I still don’t think he did it,’ Dad said.

  My eyes swivelled back to my dad.

  ‘And I’ll tell you why. Why should he claim he’s being framed?’ Dad went on. ‘I think he’d be shouting his guilt from the rooftops.’

  Now it was my mum’s turn. ‘But who would be framing him?’ I looked back to her. Why couldn’t they just stop talking about this!

  ‘I’ll give you three guesses,’ my dad said. I turned to look at him now. ‘Though two might be enough.’

  ‘Armour or Nelis,’ my mum said. My head was snapping back and forth like someone at a tennis match. ‘But the police must know that.’

  ‘Aye, they’ll know – but what proof have they got? What proof do they ever get? When do any of those two ever get caught?’

  My mum laughed then. ‘Oh well, we’ve managed to solve the crime that’s been baffling the cops for weeks. We should go into business. A crime-fighting duo?’

  Out of the blue my dad announced, ‘I’m going to start a petition. Maybe even a march. A lot of people are angry about Sheridan being in jail. About how easily guns are available here. They might be angry enough to do something about it. And if Armour and Nelis see just how many people are against them, they won’t think they’re God Almighty any more. Neither of them.’

  Stop talking about this! I wanted desperately to shout that out at them. But they wouldn’t shut up.

  ‘Och, who do you think you are, Dave? Martin-blinking-Luther King?’

  My dad smiled then. My mum could always make him smile. I looked at David, sitting across the table from me. My mum noticed him now too.

  ‘What on earth are you doing, David?’ Mum asked him.

  ‘Copying Leo. Leo’s doing this.’ He began turning his head wildly to the left and to the right. So fast that his eyes began to go together and he almost fell off his chair.

  We all began to laugh then. In fact, I laughed so hard the bit of chicken lodged in my throat and I was the one who fell off the chair.

  But I was laughing with relief. David had got them to stop talking about it. I couldn’t bear listening to them for one more minute. I knew I would have to ask Armour when he was going to produce the proof that would free Mr Sheridan.

  The only chance I had to phone him was next day on my way to school. I hated talking about it over the phone. Phones could be tapped, he’d told me. His phone especially. So I was careful to cover what I was saying, mentioning no names.

  ‘Leo, I know what you’re worried about,’ he said when I’d finished. ‘You’re a good boy thinking like that. How about if I pick you up after school – say, at the Police Club round the corner? And we’ll talk about it.’

  The day went too slowly. Couldn’t concentrate on anything. Sean didn’t look my way any more. He seemed to be with Aidan all the time now. Aidan, his best pal? No way, surely. We used to have such a giggle about Aidan. And both of them were always with Veronika and Shannon. They ate with them at lunchtime and sat on the steps with them during break.

  Who was my friend now?

  I had no one. Except the lowlives in the school. The ones we used to avoid like the plague. They were keen to be my friend now. Now that I was involved with Armour.

  But I shunned them too.

  I didn’t need friends, I decided. I had my mum and dad and David. And once this was over, and Nelis was bought off, there would be peace in the town. And they would learn that Armour wasn’t as bad as he was painted.

  But later that day, as I stood in the playground, watching Sean and Aidan and Shannon and Veronika all talking and laughing together – yes, even sour-faced Shannon – I would have done anything to be able to cross over to them and join in.

  Armour was waiting at the Police Club. Sitting in his car watching for me coming al
ong the quiet street. He leaned over and opened the door for me as I approached him.

  The Police Club has nothing to do with the police any longer. Now it’s used for dances and weddings and discos but everyone still calls it the Police Club. It stands on a corner, hidden from the view of any houses. Always quiet and deserted during the day. He’d picked a good place to meet. No one could spot his car here. He drove off even before I had a chance to snap on the seatbelt. ‘We’ll just go for a wee drive.’

  The car had smoked-glass windows. No one would even know I was in here. Even Sean’s nosy cousin couldn’t spot me in here. And all the time he was driving, he reassured me. Any day now he planned to make sure Sheridan was released. He had it all in place. But for the moment he was safer in jail. Some of McCrae’s men had sworn they would get him as soon as he stepped back on to the street.

  ‘But once this is settled with Nelis, McCrae’s men will know it’s finished for them too. And it’s going to be finished with Nelis very soon.’ He stopped the car on the hill overlooking the town. We were up at the new cemetery – deserted on this cold afternoon.

  ‘I wouldn’t mind a plot here,’ my granny would say. ‘Look at the view I would have.’

  And the view was stupendous. From here you could look right down the Clyde where it opened up into the Irish Sea. On this clear, crisp day I could almost see Ailsa Craig, the big island of rock that marked the halfway point between Glasgow and Belfast. ‘Paddy’s Milestone’, we called it.

  Armour stared at it too. Drew in a deep breath of air. ‘Look at that view. This town’s worth fighting for, isn’t it?’

  It was how I felt too. How my dad felt. They weren’t so different.

  ‘With your help, Leo, we can get this finished.’ He hesitated. ‘I need to know how much Nelis wants.’

  I was watching a boat gliding down the river, cutting it like glass. ‘You want me to meet him again?’

  ‘One last time, I promise.’

  ‘I’ve heard that before,’ I said.

  But I was in too deep to say no. Didn’t want to anyway. In that moment, I knew I didn’t want to. ‘When and where?’ I asked.